What Happened When I Stopped Scrolling

Note: I originally wrote this in May 2021. I found her tucked away in my unpublished folder and think she deserves a little air. I don't think I realised it at the time but I wasn't in a great place after and during the lockdowns (as you can probably tell by the below). However, it's all my experience and I am thinking that a lot of people can probably relate on some level.

Since writing this and over the course of the last year I have began using social media again, albeit in a different and more moderated way. Thankfully.

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I haven’t written anything in a while. Months. I feel totally uninspired.

I made a resolution on New Year's Eve. It wasn’t intended to be some hideously pretentious resolution that I would inevitably break on January 4th coupled with a post saying, ‘fuck it, it’s a long month’. It was to rid myself of social media indefinitely to keep my sanity. I should probably start with why.

I was angry. Angry seeing people, friends, going about their daily lives and hanging out with friends while I sit inside day after day keeping an eye on the latest figures and joining in the speculation of what will happen next. Angry seeing people travel up and down the country “for work” and then seeing them at a pub with mates later the same day. Angry at the people religiously breaking restrictions for inane outings and then weaponising the term “mental health” as the reason. Angry at the people above just thinking they’re worth so much more than me.

I would pick my phone up aimlessly and start scrolling. First Facebook and, between regurgitated images with captions like “haven’t been able to go anywhere so have an oldie!” and seeing Union Jack clad inflammatory comments about Sam Smith’s pronouns or All Lives Matter, it was always the platform I would leave the fastest.

Next was Instagram and its incessant advertising. Boohoo and Pretty Little Thing shoving cheap as chips, sweatshop clothes down our throats. “Influencers” who fucked off to Dubai last April and have documented every bikini, after party and margherita since then.

Then TikTok. Shiny Tiktok, with its sophisticated algorithm that shows you everything it knows you’ll like. Leaving you saying you’re just watching a couple of videos and then looking up two hours, dehydrated and with a sore neck.

I believe that social media has its place. Some platforms are better than others but they all offer something to someone. However, when we’re not able to socialise in real life, the virtual option can barely be classed as an alternative. A Zoom call isn’t the same as bumping into someone in the pub. Facetime is a poor alternative to going bowling and having dinner with your family. Social media is meant to accompany our lives, not be the primary reason for them.

It’s not to slight anyone and it’s not to suggest I was removing myself from social media to see if anyone messaged me. But no-one did. I had messages from my close friends and family as usual, nothing changed there. Despite what Facebook and Instagram say, I don’t have hundreds of friends or followers. And that’s more than okay because that’s reality. We’ve all spent so long creating a personal brand. The bubble had popped.

In a time where everything is online and everyone is plugged in 24/7, maybe removing access to this form of networking is a form of ignorance. All I can really say there is, I agree, and its bliss.